In November our beloved Savannah died. Savannah suffered from being a HIV baby. She came to us at the age of 6 months very sick and very underweigh and suffering TB. However after the right food like porridge with honey,  and nutricious babymilk she gained a lot of weigh and soon nobody could even imagine this baby was sick... But from November 2004 her health went down bit by bit and throughout 2005 she fell sick a lot and had breathing difficulties. November 19th I never forget cause it was my parents wedding anniversary God called our beautiful girl home... it was the best for her. She suffered to much. But it was hard to loose her. All I ever wanted in case Savannah will leave us, was to be with her. To hold her in my arms. She was my special girlie..

However it didnt happen like that. Some volunteers told me not to worry to much, she was very fine and I could wait to come over.... A chinese doctor specialized in aids children told me the following: she is ok. You should have seen her now, she is eating well, she responds well to the medicins, and she can become healthy again and a big girl! I was asked to call a 'volunteer' because this doctor wanted to talk to me. I wished I had followed my 'mother instinct and listened to my own heart... I told the doctor, you see the worst thing what can happen is when she dies without me... Well she could not garantee me anything but I should not worry about it.

The next day I got a sms 'Boss all is not well' Since you dont expect such a news through a sms I didnt think about the sad news at all... When I replied what is on? I got this sms

SAVANNAH DIED....

I looked again and again and for a moment my heart stopped beating and my breath was taken away. Savannah died??  I couldnt not believe it and I called Kenya only to confirm what was sent to me. I booked a flight to Kenya, Mombasa the following day 20th November 2005.

Funeral arrangments were made. The family was contacted. First I didnt like to involve them but realized that I must respect the traditions and culture. Savannah was my child for some years but born out of her own mother who died in April 2002. I had to bring her home, to lay her down to ress next to her mother. I had the joy to know her for 2 and half years. From a almost dying baby she turned into a big girl, being stubborn and with a beautiful smile.

I went to see her in the mortuary but that was such an experience that I had nightmares and was full of fear. We were told to enter, and were confronted with bodies everywhere. The smell was unbearable. She was not ready so we had to go back to the waiting room. I was shaken, never experienced to see dead bodies laying everywhere, wrapped in smelling blankets. When we were called in again, I went straight to Savannah who was dressed in the cute dress with flowers, pink and white. She looked like a doll, and to me it felt that it was just her body...She was just dumped on the table like she has never been a human person before.. Like a piece of meat. The man in charge showed me a list of the deadcauses. I didnt even look at it. I knew how she died.

We went to pick Savannah on friday afternoon. We had to wait for her white coffin to be ready, it was just finalized in front of us. We picked her and brought her home. That night the staff and some volunteers kept night awake.

The following day we started the long yourney to a village near Sultan Hamud. It is almost near Nairobi. We left with 2 minibusses almost all the children and staff, some volunteers. We finally arrived at around 17.00 pm. We planned to start the funeral service at 17.00 but this turned now to be late. After some words of family members and myself, we carried her to the grave next to her mother. In a very beautiful valley. It felt good that she was brought back home, instead of a cold cemetery. Savannah is now shining over this valley.

It tunred out to be very dark and clouds were moving above filled with rain. Some volunteers pushed me to hurry up when I was talking to the grandmother of Savannah. They were fearing the rain and darkness. I knew by then that there was no way of leaving, not because it would have felt that we just dumped the little girl and by by..... second we would not make it anymore to reach the road before it would be totally dark.  And of course I had to respect the traditions and culture. We all spend the night in the houses, in the mini busses, outside. Everywhere people laid down to ress, sleeping or talking. It was an experience. Before night fell, Michael, the brother of Savannah showed up with a big white goat,  tied it with a rope next to my bus. When I asked him curiously why is that goat for? He answered me, that is your dinner Mama Simba..... Wrong! I cant eat a goat which I have been seeing alive in front of me! I skipped dinner and heard that some others enjoyed it in the middle of the night. When the family showed up early morning with some food, I asked them first what is it? Goat... thank you.

We left Savannah in the valley, we bid her farewell early morning and returned to Mombasa. We arrived before the evening started and I had to pack. The following day I left Mombasa. There will no more Savannah who will step downs the stairs in the home and smile at me. But her memories will be always there with us.